|
Post by Jokerman on Jul 2, 2009 20:28:12 GMT 9.5
In these tough economic times, the government has taken decisive action..... The Milky Bars are on me!
|
|
|
Post by jokes on Jul 2, 2009 20:29:38 GMT 9.5
A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, He saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, 'What are all those clocks?'
St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone who has ever been on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move.'
'Oh', said the man. 'Whose clock is that?'
'That's Mother Teresa's', replied St. Peter. 'The hands Have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.'
'Incredible', said the man. 'And whose clock is that one?'
St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life.'
'Where's Kevin Rudd's clock?' asked the man.
St Peter replied, 'Jesus has it in his office. He uses it as a ceiling fan.'
|
|
|
Post by jokes on Jul 2, 2009 20:42:23 GMT 9.5
Kevin Rudd was visiting a primary school in Tasmania.
One class was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked Mr. Rudd if he would like to lead the discussion on the word ‘tragedy’.
So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a ‘tragedy’.
A little boy stood up and offered: ‘If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a ‘tragedy’.
‘No,’ said Rudd ‘that would be an accident.’
A little girl raised her hand: ‘If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy’.
‘I’m afraid not,’ explained Mr. Rudd ‘that’s what we would call great loss’.
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Rudd searched the room. ‘Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?’
Finally, at the back of the room, little Johnny raised his hand.
In a quiet voice he said: ‘If a plane carrying you and Mrs. Rudd was struck by a ‘friendly fire’ missile & blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.’
‘Fantastic!’ exclaimed Rudd . ‘That’s right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?’
‘Well,’ says little Johnny ‘it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be a accident either!
|
|